Step 1: Get yourself a 12 year old daugher.
Step 2: Resist the begging, pleading, whining and cajoling for 1st day of school SKINNY JEANS during the 80+ degree months of August and September. Assure her of the purchase once the weather dips slightly, or November. Whichever comes first.
Step 3: Succumb to the full-price jeans in a moment of October weakness. Notice & point out the lack of gratitude. Sulk simultaneously.
Step 4: Become irritated when shorts are regularly STILL being worn at 7:45 am on school days in the rainy autumn breezes on days with a high of 53. Decide to let sleeping demin lie.
Step 5: Recognize the back pockets of The Jeans on a pair of cut-off shorts. Slowly ascertain the fact that The Jeans are now shorts. Cut by a sly, yet inexperienced 12 year old.
Step 6: Attempt to find humor in situation by briefly wondering to yourself what adjectives Tim Gunn would use to describe her “process.”
Step 7: Fail.
Head explosion is now complete. Until this afternoon.
Combust!