Middle School subbing


That’s right…you heard me.  I subbed for middle school.  Yes, yes…I am, in fact, out of my mind because I did it TWICE!  My very first subbing job was for Art at Discovery Middle School (how fun is that?)  Totally!  Well, almost totally…because I did get to use Aqua Net (aka:  haaaaar-spuh-raaaaaeeeey) to finish some lovely chalk drawings completed that day by very hard working and mature 8th graders.  The needy 6th graders did some folding/tracing projects and those pesky think-they’re-omniscient 7th graders did not do even one thing they were supposed to.  Ears green and all, I mistakenly believed that chatting up the troublemakers would make my life easier for that 3-days-long 50 minute period.  One of the more outspoken hellians was attempting to chat me up in order to get me to give his buddy a detention.  I wasn’t about to admit the fact that this particular process had not been part of my training, so I just let him keep talking.  “I’ll give you a hundred bucks if you’ll give him one.”  “Wow.  (appropriately unimpressed) $100.00?”  “Yeah, and I have it too…(with Trumpesque pride) I mow for my job and I have $100.00.”  “Mowing…that’s good money…”  And here was my fatal follow up question:  “Do you push or ride?”

The entire table of ‘worldly’ 13 year olds pauses, looks at each other gasping and gaping with chins hanging, then erupts in wide-eyed laughter with each other at that hilariously “dirty” question.  “O. M. G.!  The sub has no idea what she just said.”  Big-13-year-old Daddy leans back in his chair and proudly declares with the voice of experience, “Oh, I push alright.”  Suddenly I’m whisked back to 1981 where every sentence uttered at Jefferson Middle School was also taken dirty and I nod as I remember.   And that was WAY before “that’s what she said.” 

“Alright.  That’s enough.” 

Great!  Now I’m my mom AND my teachers! 

Next post:  Middle School “Music”    (as if!)


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