High Dive Butterflies

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I never had much fear going off the high dive at the City Pool.  More often than not I was at the bottom with a lifeguard tube, coaxing children to “make a T with your arms and jump where my hand is” (and not on my head as they usually fearfully aimed).  I caught them every time and they were always glad they did it!  So so brave!  “Let’s do it again!”

After our lovely BSF 08-09 placement activity with Sunshine & the girls on Bonus Round Leader’s Meeting Day, I drove towards my almost about to be former home and the high dive feeling began in my core…behind the muffin top.  We are really closing up shop now, in a fast-forward kind of way.  Packing is in full swing, batons are being passed (on and off Central’s Track), Michigan sporting events and parties are being completed and crossed off while camps and opportunities for the summer are quickly tossed and not even being considered and that high dive feeling is growing.  And it’s not going away.  So as I stand here on my mental high dive, with my metaphorical finger in it’s thinking spot on the hypothetical edge of my lips, here’s what’s racing between my ears:

The climb up the 20+ rungs of the ladder wasn’t bad at all.  In fact, it was kinda thrilling!  The reward at the top is the barefoot catwalk where all eyes are on your brave self.  The walk out to the edge has a great view!  Handle rails are available to hold onto, even, for safety and support.  Then the railing ends and there’s about 5 steps to the edge which is where I find myself now.  Uh oh.  It’s just about go time.   I pause.  I look back over my shoulder.  There are people with hands on the ladder patiently ready to come after me.  A line of excited, wonderful people who can’t wait to come after me as soon as my turn is over!  I can’t go back.  I won’t even think about turning around.  So instead I face forward.  I sigh because I like it way up here where I can see everything.  Everywhere I’ve been, and a glimpse of everywhere I’m going–what a sight!   But I’m getting a little tired of standing.  I look down.  It’s almost time to jump and not be here any more and for a brief time not exactly be down there in the cool water either.  Wow.  That water looks a long way away.  Like 700 miles and 12 hours away.  Much farther away than it looked as I was ascending the ladder.  Now I wonder,  how is it that my body won’t break or shatter when I hit what looks very much like blue wavy glass?  I see lots of people down there having fun, waving me down, cheering me on.  My reserved, quiet husband, smiling, frantically beckons me and is beside himself waiting for me to jump in and once again be at his side.  He jumped long ago.  He’s been in for a while and the water is great!  I don’t want to stall.  I am ready but just not quite.  There’s a little more work to do but not much.  I stick out one foot and all that’s left is the other foot and then the fall.  No confident swan dives.  No flips either–forget about it!  The fun comes later, but I will be falling for some long seconds, remembering the climb and the people I was with as I waited, longed for and expected this high dive moment.  Back to old friends, back to family.  Wheeeeee!

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