Today the pastor told the funniest story. So funny, I tracked him down and he gave it to me right from his stack of notes after the 2nd service. I share it now with you.
“A young minister was interviewing for his first pastorate. The Pulpit Committee had invited him to come over to their church for the interview. The chairman asked, “Son do you know the Bible pretty good?”
The young minister said, “I reckon pretty good.” The chairman asked, “Which part do you know best?” He responded saying, “I know both the Old and the New Testament. Ask me anything.” The chairman said, “Why don’t you tell us the story of the Prodigal Son.” The young man said, “Fine.”
“There was a man of the Pharisees named Nicodemus who went down to Jericho by night and he fell upon stony ground and the thorns choked him half to death.
The next morning Solomon and his wife, Gomorrah, came by, and carried him down to the ark for Moses to take care of. But, as he was going through the Eastern Gate, he caught his hair in a limb and he hung there for forty days and forty nights and he afterwards did hunger. And the ravens came and fed him manna.
The next day, three wise men came and carried him down to the boat dock and he caught a ship to Ninevah. And when he got there he found Deliliah sitting on the wall. He said, “Chunk her down, boys! Chunk her down.” And they said, “How many times shall we chunk her down, till seven times seven? And he said, “Nay, but seventy times seven.” And they chunked her down four hundred and ninety times.
“And she burst asunder in their midst. And they picked up twelve baskets of the leftovers. And in the resurrection whose wife shall she be?”
The committee chairman suddenly interrupted the young minister and said to the remainder of the committee, “Fellows, I think we ought to ask the church to call him as our minister. He is awfully young, but he sure does know his Bible.”
(The point: Everyone has an opinion, the Bible has the Truth. Read it. Know it. Live it.)