Monthly Archives: August 2008

Well, hello there!

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Oh, the joy!  The bliss!  A practically empty house and The Day!

Hubby has taken the Big Three to Williamsburg for Oldest to play in a soccer tournament.  The only reason BabyKid gets to stay here is because he has an Extended Lazer Tag Birthday Party just down the street from where I need to spend some time this afternoon.  So Yay! for me!  I have way less parenting duties this weekend!  Which is a win/win/win/win/win/WIN because I was all but ready to haul in the duct tape and wire hangers.  Teenagers and almost-ones are so rackafrackin’ noisy!  When they’re “relaxing” its the music.  When they’re in the “angst” we’ve all heard so much about, its the voices.  When they’re obediently doing their chores, it’s the slamming of things…you get the idea.

So the Saturday morning quiet?  It feels like Christmas morning to this weary Mama.

And just in time, too, since I volunteered for the 3:00 – 9:00 shift tomorrow at the Marathon Starting Line.  That’s a.m.  Tomorrow.  Then right to church. 

Oh, I don’t know what I’m gonna do with myself.

At least it’ll be quiet.

I JUST wanna work I DON’T wanna play on the drum all day

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I have a new place!  It is a closet room/office off the K-1 Large Group room.  And I also have a task:  Create a 13 piece puzzle for our Fall Unit.  It needs to hang.  And be colorful.  And make sense.  And fit together.  I need to be there today, but instead I have been volunteering at the Rock N Roll 1/2 Marathon.  Friends are coming from TN to run it which makes me very excited!  But I digress.

Here is my office “before”

 

And after:

 

Thank you, BSF bud & resident artiste LisaB!  I love my watch!!!

What not to NOT wear…one can only hope

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Life is like Ross Dress for Less.  You nevah know what you’re gon’ git.

(But you can be pretty sure it will be 100% polyester.)

But shopping alone is reason for a celebration post and I am easily pleased and besides, Stacey and Clinton have yet to pop up and offer me $5000 so this is the best I can do for under $10.  Each.  Not total. 

Even on children’s ministry wages I’m not THAT thrifty.

I already had the necklace.  Can you tell the top is brown?  With a satiny sash?  Ooh la la!  A new favorite!

I know, I know.  “Paging Greg Brady.”  But it really does look cute on.

Wild Women Do (and they don’t regret it_.  It was time for a leopard print.  Notice how the jeans are folded under in half width wise.  Don’t they make “me” look long and lean this way???
Another one that looks better on.  At least I hope it does…
Can you see the sparkles on this one? 
IT is the CHOSEN ONE which will be making an appearance at the www.BeachStreetUSA.com concerts this weekend.   Eddie Money (free)  Warrant (free) and Billy Idol, Morris Day (and The Time) as well as the B-52s to name a few.   I loves me some events shopping!

Am I ready for some football? You talkin’ to me?

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Are you asking ME if I’M ready for some football?  Well, I don’t rightly know.

 

I do know that it was a safe distraction to lure the 8 year old away from MI “hackey” by speaking freely of the awesomeness of football down south.

 

I do know that he looks oh, so cute in his uniform,

but even his game face has a hint of a smile.

 

I also know that the quickest way to see your infant as a grown up is for him to put on a helmet and shoulder pads.

 

I know his DAD and Big Bro are ready for some football as there has been much discussion on the different meanings of “safety” and what a touchback is and where to grab the dude you are attempting to tackle and how to spin away from the dude that’s attempting to tackle you.

 

But up until today, this has all been speculation and theory and practice.  At the Jamboree today all 10 teams played a few downs with each other,  politely taking turns on offense and defense while the coaches dramatized their favorite Pro Coach antics, (sans headphones), meanwhile, those little guys piled up a little too high and stayed on the ground just a fraction longer than is good for this ol’ nervous system. 

 

Am I ready for some football?  Not really…but I’ve got another week.

Best Dream EVER

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I woke up just before dawn with a memory of potentially the Very Best Dream I Ever Had.  It must be all the Tivo and Fall TV commercials working their subliminal magic, because I dreamed I was on “Dancing with the Stars” and my partner was Jim Halpert (aka John Krazinsky) from The Office!   I mean, the whole shebang with me dressed up in satin and sparkles with the hair and the heels…Jim dapper in a tux and joking with me, both of us having THE BEST time!  I had that blank feeling as the music is starting, “Why do I feel like I’ve never practiced?  I don’t remember what I’m supposed to do!”  Jim just looks at me and says “You know this” and leads away.  I’m like a beat and 1/2 behind him the whole time, but just doing my best.

THE BONUS of the dream is that THERE WAS NO JUDGING!  I mean, can you imagine?  How much fun that would be (for them, not for us, the viewers) if there was NO JUDGING?  They would never leave the show!

Then after everyone was done and the cameras stopped rolling.  We all were sitting around on the dance floor in our costumes and someone brought around a plate of brownies and snacks.  I refused one thinking (in my dream) “If I eat so much as a raisin, it will poke out of this satin costume like…well…a raisin.”

I woke up so happy!

Big Day

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I’m excited, thrilled, anxious, happily wiling away the minutes until I go to my new job at SBCC!  Soon I will have a desk and a new additional email address and maybe some pens.  As I got ready I kept hearing Stacey, Clinton, Nick and Carmindy conversing with me, instructing me, in turn, due to the constant marathon watching of WNTW every single day since we got the Cox on-demand cable box.  I think I would do them proud today.  The denim jacket may be a bit much…but now I’m rambling.

I’ll be going in for just a few hours this morning.  I warned the Chitlins to sleep in as long as possible.  Then later today, I’m meeting my college A-B dorm buddy who lives only about an hour away.  I haven’t seen her since 6 kids ago (all 3 of hers + 3 of mine).  “Jennie Glama” too-aht me how to too-alk like a NY Flaridian and how to dance without moving my feet off the ground.  I love her parents and brother too.  We were in each other’s weddings…that kind of bud.  She’s a keeper and I can’t wait to catch up…and as a bonus, there’s a newborn baby to snuggle!

 

It’s a big BIG day!

Salty Stuff

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My Sister’s Coming to See Me!  And I am so excited.  Boy, will I have a lot to share THAT week. 

 

This week?  Notsomuch.

 

But I will tell you about the salty brownies. 

 

Way back in June/July 2008 when life in VA was fresh and new and I was not stagnantly waiting for school job something to happen, I was happily reading everything with Sweet Potato Queens in the title.  I knew Sis would appreciate the irreverant humor and the fat-laden recipes (’cause there’s no calories in reading, right?) so I got online www.amazon.com and found a cheap-o copy of the Sweet Potato Queens Big @$$ Cookbook and sent it to her for her birthday. 

Well, she left me a message on Sunday that she was going to make “Chocolate Stuff.”  I have made this about 12-45 times over the 11 weeks that we’ve been here.  In fact, I had made some just that night when I got her message!  I was so excited ’cause I knew it would be a hit for her and her company.  Finally we talked a few days later.

“No one liked it.  It was too salty.”

“What?  Salty?  I don’t even remember salt in the recipe.”

“Oh, yeah.  It said to put 1 tsp of salt.  I remember.  I knew you had said you liked salty & sweet.  I just thought that maybe you put ’em both together…”

So we both race to our respective Big @$$ Cookbooks and look it up.

“On page 155” we say in unison.

“Add 1 teaspoon of salt,” she reads.

“One QUARTER teaspoon,”  I read.

“Oh.”

“Oh.  Em.  Gee.  It must be a misprint.:

“No wonder it was on sale.”

No laughter.  Just crickets and deep, deep sorrow. 

Taps was playing somewhere in the distant background.

She was incredibly bummed, but not nearly as much as I, the giver of a tainted gift.  I hearby vow the following:

 

 

We will compare our Big @$$ recipes page by page while sipping frozen drinks and eating Intentional Salty Things on the beach.

 

 

We will make The REAL VERSION of Chocolate Stuff DAILY when she gets here.

 

 

We will take “before” and “after” pictures.  But maybe use photoshop.  Or other people’s faces/bodies.

I can’t wait!

 

 

PS  Here’s the recipe.  Couldn’t be easier.  From Jill Connor Browne

Beat 2 eggs, add 1 cup sugar.                              I know.  No one’s making YOU make it. 

Melt a stick of butter in the microwave with 2 heaping tsp. of Hershey’s powdered cocoa.  Dump the chocolate-butter into the sugar-eggs and mix very well.  Add 1+ tsp of vanilla and ONE QUARTER TEASPOON of salt.  That’s a tad more than a pinch and probably not enough to miss if you DON’T ADD IT AT ALL, which I don’t.  You can add 1/2 c. nuts if you want, but I don’t.  Then you just pour it into a greased loaf pan (or double it for a brownie pan).  Jill’s recipe says to put the greased loaf pan in a separate pan of water to make it gooey on the bottom, but I don’t.  And it still comes out gooey on the bottom and crunchy on the top.  Jill says to bake it, but I don’t (ha ha, just kidding…or am I?) at 300 for 40-50 minutes

Proceed to burn your tongue by eating it before it cools off completely. 

If you wait, it’ll still be THAT GOOD. 

 

But you won’t wait. 

 

 Just have the milk ready.

The Dreaded Tuesday People

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I am a people person.  Really, I am.  My last Myers-Briggs said so.  And the people around me say so, be they friends, or aquaintances, or those lucky enough to be standing in front of me in line at The Walmart.

 

But I am having SUCH a problem with The Tuesday People.

 

I have been going to the friendly neighborhood Curves just down the street all summer long, several days a week.  It is a delightfuly whimsically decorated purplish workout room with adorable white lights in the windows and many inspiring colorful foam words hanging on curly ribbons from the ceiling.  The 90s techno beat pumps out whether the music is Fake Beatles 60s songs or Fakey Brakey Country.  There is even a sparkly ornament ball hanging from one of the many ceiling fans that I always playfully whack and spin around while I’m marching in place on the circuit, keeping that heartrate at 80%.

 

But I’m telling you…none of this makes up for the Tuesday People.

 

The Tuesday People chicken dance around happily to the peppy music.  They pretend to obliviously clappity clap their happy hands, while all the time they are really stalking me, planning their alternating attacks.  The Tuesday people have Eagle Eyes in the back of their happy heads.  Their outfits are cellulite-free lycratastic and usually they are putting on a jacket or sipping a rackafrackin’ iced mocha.  It’s not difficult to loathe them while sweating to the Jackson 5 under THESE circumstances…but wait.  There’s more.

While they zip their jackets and sip their 300 calorie heaven, as if they don’t have anything better to do on the clock, they subtly WATCH me, from the mirrors, reflections in the inspirational poster frames, or out of the corners of their sneaky little eyes just WAITING for me to screw up my stance, hold, head placement or toe point so they can casually come over and act like they’re helping/inspiring/improving my life.  It’s like they are CONSTANTLY TRYING to correct me.  All the time.  Which I just have too little tolerance for. 

 

I mean, it’s quite enough that the yellow “caution, low energy attempt at lifting” light is blinking so obnoxiously at me.  I KNOW it can’t see the sweat pouring down off my vein popping forehead.  But the Tuesday people are supposedly human.  They have the nerve to march right over to me, and head-tiltingly suggest, over the yellow “caution, not working hard enough” blinking light that I “may be standing too far back” or “might want to keep my head in the square” or “not quite gettting” the “full range of motion.”  Oh, you perfectionist Tuesday people.  I’d shake my fist at you, but it’s worn slap out.  An eye roll will have to do. 

 

I wonder how many calories THOSE burn?

Personality Profile Paranoia

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…brought to you by the letter “P”

I had an interview last week for a position in Children’s Ministry at www.springbranchcc.com that I assume (yes, I know what “ass u me” stands for.  Still.)  went fairly well, since I remain “in process.”  After the interview, it was requested that I take a personality test.  I had taken a paper version of one of these for my former ministry position at www.northridgechurch.com but this time I was told to look for an email with a link to the online testing process. 

Now granted, I am a wee bit anxious to get the ball rolling, and the director says/acts like she is quite ready for me to start, so you can imagine that I may have been just a little tad small bit semi-obsessive about checking my email every 5 minutes over the next 12-26 hours.  I checked my email so often, that it was hard to believe once 24 hours went by that it had only been a day.  Have you ever had days like that? 

So after waiting until the appropriate time of day, I dashed off a reply so that my potential employer’s Powers That Be (you know…the human ones) ((LOL!  I just cracked myself up with that Powers That Be reference after the last 4 days wordy postings on HE IS!  siiiiiigh.  Anyhoo)) would know that I have not ONLY been lolling around eating Sweet & Salty Almond Bars and watching What Not To Wear marathons, but that I have, in fact, been constantly looking for the link and have not yet received it.  They promptly said they would look into it, and did I happen to check my Spam folder?  That’s when it hit me…

Maybe THIS is part of the personality test.  Organization?  Oh no. 

Truly, I have 2 “spam” folders because, though I am a tosser with real life stuff, as witnessed by our newly emptied garage, unfortunately I neglect that attribute when it comes to email.  I had 8743 emails in the junk mail while I had whittled down my real inbox to just under 200.

But lo & behold I did but find the link.  Hallel U Jah! 

Too bad it was only the teaser link to the website warning me to LOOK for ANOTHER email that would BE COMING from this source.  Which I still had not received.

NOW I am fully believing that if this is, indeed, part of the test, I am TOTALLY FLUNKING the patience section.

I made calls this time.  And kept my “no biggie” demeanor.  I hope that scores me some flippin’ extra credit.

A few hours later, I finally FINALLY got the link to the 88 question double true-or-false test.  These were thought provoking statements such as “Most people put forth the least amount of effort at their job to collect their paycheck.”  and “I am always honest in all situations.”  After each statement was 2 sets of  TRUE or FALSE answers: one answer indicated “the ideal candidate for the job you are applying for” and the other answer “for your true self.”   Alrighty then.

I stood up and effectively threatened all the neighborhood kids–who had wandered over during the day and were happily partying their young summer day away with all manner of music, TV, billiards, plastic bows and arrows, loud games of LIFE (talk about your irony) and sloshing through the kitchen fresh from the neighbor’s pool to cut up watermelon and spit the seeds–within an inch of their life if they didn’t KEEP IT DOWN while I took the rackafrackin’ TEST FOR MY JOB I had been waiting for.

Heavy Sigh…

I dashed off the answers in record time, even reveiwing them at the end and tweaking a few.  When I submitted the answers, all I got was a “Thank you.  Your results will be sent to the requesting party.”

Now I wait.  AGAIN.

I wonder if “How You Deal With Lack Of Feedback” is part of the test too?  

Oh botha.