Bad girl, bad girl, whatcha gonna do…

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I’m just now getting to the point where I can talk about it.

Sunday, September 21, 2008

8:00 Big Girl and I left for church so she could practice being Zacchaeus and I could narrate Abram and Lot.

12:30  After church, switched cars so I can take Oldest to change for soccer game in Newport News.

1:15  Inhale pseudo semi-lunch, pick up neighbor mom & fellow player for soccer road trip

1:17  Notice the dreaded “lights” behind me.  And not the ones that “go down in the city.”  There was no “sun shining on the bay” at this moment.  In fact my mood was decidedly cloudy.  (If you don’t get the references, please go directly to itunes.com and immediately buy Journey’s Greatest Hits.  Shame on you.)

Hands at 10:00 and 2:00 and a few late bucklers from the back seat later, the gentleman in uniform is asking for my license and registration, please.  I speedily hand it to him as he asks with a smirk,  “You’re not suspended are you?”  When I say, “no” he says “Not  yet ? ” chuckling a little pleased-with-himself chuckle.

“You were doing 40 in a 25.  Five more miles and you could be arrested.  And I saw the boy in the back put on his seatbelt after I pulled you over.  I’m gonna let that one slide this time.”  Menacing look to the back seat boys.

He checks the personalized tags, front AND back…the inspection sticker, the chips in my windshield, the condition of my wiper blades, the GPS potentially disguised as a radar detector, the condition of the interior, and begins his snails-pace hang out in the patrol car behind me.  Now the joy begins.

“Mom!  Is he gonna arrest you?  Why were you driving so fast?  Are you gonna tell Dad?   Remember when you got that OTHER ticket on the way to Beauty and the Beast on Ice, remember?   Are you gonna go to jail?  How much is a ticket?  Are we gonna be late?  What time’s the game?  Didn’t you see the sign?”

My kind neighbor was savvy enough to be studiously concentrating on her cuticles for about 45 minutes. 

He returns.

“Here’sthecitationyoucanreadonthebackifyoudeclinecourtappearancesignreturninstructionsontheback.”

“So you’re not going to give me any leeway, huh?”

“Ma’am, you have future drivers in the back seat, there.  You need to be setting a good example for them.   Slow down and take it easy out there.”

And I thought the Curves people were tough.

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4 responses »

  1. like I have said elsewhere: “Breakin the law, Breakin the law.”. My advanced appologies to Kelly. Good luck fightin’ the man.

  2. Ohhh, Shannon!! My heart was in my throat while I was reading your tale of woe! Last Summer (2007) I got my first ticket EVER in A LOT of years of driving! I was sick to my stomach and couldn’t stop the tears! Jonathan felt so badly for me! Not the cop though — you would think that he would have a little pity on me — especially when he saw my spotless record! 🙂

  3. What NO GRACE???? You just moved there! He sounded like a real poop anyway. And they wonder why they get a bad name.
    Loved the Journey references BTW. “Don’t Stop Believin'”, there are some compassionate cops out there!

  4. For mom, her favorite story:

    Go. . .
    and sin no more 🙂

    sorry for the bad rap. I never knew they could see you fasten your seatbelt after the fact. note to self.

    hang in there, sis. I believe in better days.

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