Shrimp & Bowtie Pasta
(Sounds good, right? Just wait…)
1) Boil pasta
2) Thaw shrimp
3) Toss with yummy olive oil & Pampered Chef Parmesan Garlic
4) While table is being set, put away dishes from the dishwasher stacking some of them on the stove, because why finish immediately what you can drag out indefinately? Wait for family to gather, get drinks, set table & assemble.
5) Accidentally bump the stove dial for the back burner with metal colander being put “away” in a 9 x 13 pan also detoured on the stove top.
6) Fail to notice burner (on), glass pan (expanding) or metal colander (nuclear) which is hiding the “warning, it’s hot up in here” stove light.
7) Wonder what That Sound is. Do not realize it is glass pan preparing to explode.
8) Hear the sound of 472 giant icicles falling & crashing inches from your head & bare feet.
9) Realize there are shards of glass everywhere.
10) Summon the shopvac
11) Notice shards of glass in the yummy pasta & shrimp.
12) Toss dinner. Order pizza.