I suppose you are wondering why you’ve each been assembled here rather than tucked away into your normal drawer. It’s because I want to talk to you all about commitment.
Each and every one of you entered into this home with a partner. Some of you came in already commited Small Groups of 6, 8 or even 10. But look at you now.
Here you are. In a huge pile. Surrounded by others who have lost or been left behind by their original mate. This is heartbreaking and tragic and our entire community is adversely effected.
For example. You. Blue-Banded Footie Sock. You think you are just as happy with the cute little Red-Banded Footie Sock you sat next to for a few days as you waited for your mates in the next load. When they never showed up, you hung out around the house together. Then you got brave and went OUT together. People stared, but you didn’t mind. Shame on you.
And you, Sports Tape Residue-Covered soccer sock. You are obviously scarred for life. But guess what. SO IS YOUR PARTNER. Maybe if you tried, you could both understand each other and your bond would grow deeper. You might even use those scars to stick together when things get heated. Like in the dryer.
Now you, rainbow toe-sock. You are different. Maybe you dream of what it would be like to settle down with that dashing navy solid. Read my lips. IT. WILL. NEVER. HAPPEN.
If you are curious about Crusty, Hole-E-Filled, and Dog Snack, their days are gone. We can only wonder if they would be with us today had they not gone off alone somewhere.
It’s not too late for the rest of you. Let’s stick together, folks. Two are better than one.