What if Jesus came back right now?

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I am a fairly completely NON-political person, but the earthquakes and the after-shocks, and the recession, and the health care reform bill all has me wondering if Jesus is tying his shoes.

If so, here is a list, inspired by Matt of what I DON’T want to be doing.

1.  Yea, though I walk through the Valley of the Shadow of the Smiley Face, I will fear no evil fashion choices.  www.peopleofwalmart.com

2.  Now that my youngest is a big 4th grader and all 4 kids are deathly ashamed of me, I pray I never again have to be on one of these:

 No.  No warm, soft gummie bears for me.   Bawm Bawm.  Chicka Chicka.

3.  Breezewood, PA   I have been on the trek from Virginia Beach to Plymouth, MI too many times over the last 2.5 years and it is almost impossible to not stop here:

…but the first time we stopped here, our car battery died so we spent the night at a hotel only to find that there was no running water there.  Once the battery was charged, we were back on the road but the horn wouldn’t stop honking.  The second time we stopped here, we got The Sickness.   Just keep it moving, people. 

4.   A Dog Wedding

I have a dog.  I love my dog.  But my dog is a DOG. 

And now, here are the top 5 places Jesus is likely to find me, if it’s soon:

1.  Sonic

“Large Strawberry Limeade with a shot of watermelon, please.”

2.  Soccer Field

3.  Justin Bieber concert

 I have a 12 year old daughter.  There’s nothing I can do.

4.  Pool

I will be so proud of myself if I’m raptured while swimming!  

5.  at my computer

Even so, Lord, quickly come!

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3 responses »

  1. … and sadly, I noticed Timberlake did NOT make the list … you do know, it’s next to heaven, right? I’m just sayin’ …

  2. Hey Frister,
    Next time your travels take you to MI, let meet in Breezwood. We’ve been there, too! Never mind. I’d rather meet you in Plymouth =)

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