We Do It For The Rachets


I have a boo-boo on my leg that my family lovingly calls “The Rachet.”  It is a spider bite on my left shin that I got 4 months ago and it is healing very slowly.   At first it looked like a harmless mosquito bite without the itch.  I now keep it covered with a bandage most of the time, but at night I often have it uncovered.  Someone will catch a glimpse and all manner of grossed out shenanigans ensue.  Good times.  Very encouraging.

My kids, all teenagers are constantly teaching me The Slang Of The Now and according to them, rachet =gross.  There’s a whole thing now on social media where girls take pictures of themselves–selfies–without makeup, no hair primping, no photoshop or Instagram filters and proclaim in the caption: #WeDoitFortheRachets.   This is a thinly veiled attempt to get people to argue with them how beautiful and attractive and not-rachified they actually are.  It works about 2% of the time.

So within a few more weeks, my Rachet spider bite quickly swelled out to the size of a quarter, then began to turn black in the center.  It still didn’t hurt at all.  In fact I hardly knew it was there.  This was when I knew we weren’t in Kansas anymore, Toto.  And by “in” I mean “dealing with.”  And by “Kansas” I mean “a mosquito bite.”  And by “Toto,”  I mean “whoever can stomach looking at it.”

I had no further symptoms, besides unsightliness and not being able to shave around it.  The long hairs around the perimeter added a nice festive touch to The Rachet.  It was like a mini mob of onlookers at the scene of a sinkhole.  I didn’t have a fever, fatigue, it didn’t itch, so I left it alone and didn’t seek medical attention for about 6 weeks.

When the black part got bigger and the area started recessing, I finally went to the doctor.  He sent me to a surgeon.  Who promptly went on vacation.  So I saw another surgeon.  He said they *could* do an outpatient procedure, or I could leave it alone.

So I opted to leave it alone.  I’m not a fan of the sharp utensils, unless they are spreading delicious Nutella on a cinnamon crunch bagel.

It is now shrinking and healing and it has me wondering…what things HOLLER for my attention–and what things WHISPER but need it nonetheless?

And also…isn’t the healing of the human body amazing?  Even when it doesn’t happen on our timetable.

And also…all The Rachets need is attention, love, and to be taken care of by somebody.   No matter how obnoxious/quiet they may be.

One response »

  1. A) That’s awesome, especially the bit about sharp objects unless nutella is involved. Although, I do hate that a spider bit you, but then again, you got an funny post out of it. So then maybe it’s all for the best.

    B) I stopped wearing make-up a year ago as an experiment. I only wear it now when there’s super, awesome special occasion that I need to be all fancy-pants for. (Of course, now when I do wear make-up, it feels heavy and fake). But who knew that I was all cool and awesome with today’s urban youth. Clearly, I should be posting more make-up free photos. But since my 40th is ever drawing nigh, I may leave off the #rachets. Wonder what these kids will think of this phase when they reach mid-life? Good laughs, for sure.

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